


I'll be with you when you dream...

by dangerliesbeforeyou



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Dreams, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Episode: s05e13 The Diamond of the Day, mild romance, this might make no sense lol...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-10-09 03:34:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20482577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dangerliesbeforeyou/pseuds/dangerliesbeforeyou
Summary: Merlin reflecting on, and trying to come to terms with, the reality of Arthur's death, whilst dreaming...aka, I suck at summaries lol...





	I'll be with you when you dream...

**Author's Note:**

> I actually originally wrote this on the 25th of December 2012, literally 1 day after the finale lol...  
The original work is TERRIBLE (and still published on my fanfiction.net which is a tad embarrassing... luckily i have a different username there so good luck trying to find it lol) but I liked the concept so decided to rewrite it...
> 
> it's a bit nonsensical lol, and kinda just lots of angst and suggested romantic fluff (kinda..?)... oh and spoilers for dotd pt2 lol... like it's been 7 years since the finale, so i feel i don't really need to say that but ?? just incase
> 
> anyway, this is my first posted merlin fanfic on ao3 lol, despite me being a fan of the show for agessssssssss...
> 
> hope you enjoy it?? (not really read it through cos i cba lol...)

The hand that brushed his face was warm and tender, the slightly roughened skin caressing his cheek. Merlin felt so content at that moment and almost kept his eyes closed, unwilling to let it end. The hand seemed to move from his face to his shoulder, which caused him to blearily open his eyes. His vision was blurry as he stared up at a figure kneeling above him. The figure came into focus as Merlin felt the sleep leave his eyes, and he almost yelled in disbelief at who it was. 

It was Arthur, of course it was Arthur. Merlin sat up straight in shock, almost knocking the other man flat onto his back. He couldn’t bring himself to say anything, simply staring at his King in confusion and awe, who wore a strange grin on his face. 

"What's up with you? You look like you've seen a ghost!" Arthur joked; his voice laced with that teasing quality he reserved for Merlin. Though there was still clear concern written in his eyes, betraying his true intentions as always.

The more he looked; Merlin realised Arthur was much younger than when he saw him last. He was dressed in his simple white shirt: clean and new looking. The King also looked healthier in himself, happier too. Merlin still couldn't speak, and only stared, longing for this to be true. He found himself glancing at the other’s chest, expecting to see the red stain of the sword wound that plagued his every thought. Subconsciously, Merlin found himself reaching towards the spot, only to pull his hand away as he noticed Arthur was watching him with a bemused smile on his face. 

Arthur, seemingly oblivious to Merlin’s trepidation, stood up abruptly. He surveyed their surroundings with a small frown, before holding his hand out to Merlin. 

Still frozen, Merlin stared at that hand, which caused Arthur to roll his eyes in an impatient manner.

‘Come on Merlin, you’re usually so quick to complain about how I never help you with anything!’ The playful lilt in the way Arthur said his name made Merlin finally come out of his stupor, accepting Arthur’s help as he was pulled up to stand. 

Merlin let his hand linger in the other man’s, revelling in how warm and alive it felt. Arthur was first to pull away, but not before giving the other man’s hand a comforting squeeze. Merlin couldn’t tear his eyes from Arthur and could feel himself smiling widely despite himself.

Arthur held his gaze for a second before turning his attention back to looking around them. 

"Well... It looks like Camelot...?" He said questioningly, raising an eyebrow.

Merlin didn’t reply, though he finally turned his attention to where they were stood. It seemed to be a hill, and certainly did look very much like Camelot. It was warm, probably late afternoon, and a soft breeze kept ruffling through his hair. Though Merlin couldn’t help but sense that something seemed off about the place. Not necessarily in a sinister way, but more as if the entire world had been flipped like a reflection in a mirror. Now he had finally established Arthur was somewhat ‘real’, he needed to try to understand why or, perhaps more importantly, how this was happening. The last thing he remembered was falling asleep at the edge of Lake Avalon, every cell in his boy felt exhausted and drained, both physically and emotionally. He was certain this must be a dream, though the realness of it all felt almost like it had been conjured. 

"Are you even listening to me Merlin?" Arthur’s voice cut through his musings, making Merlin realise the King had probably been talking to him for some time.

"Oh Arthur... Please tell me this isn't a dream…" Was all Merlin could fathom as a reply, his voice sounding hoarse from lack of use. 

Arthur looked confusedly at Merlin, who had always been an oddball in his eyes.

‘Of course this isn’t a dream! What kind of rubbish dream would it be with just the two of us standing in the middle of some field…?’ He exclaimed, knocking Merlin’s shoulder playfully before he continued. ‘Although, if I had to count on anyone having this bad of a dream, it would be you, Merlin…’

Merlin snorted, looking back at Arthur, who was smiling. The smile slipped into an expression of concern as he looked at Merlin, making the latter realise he had started crying without even noticing. He turned away from Arthur, brushing his tears away hastily.

‘Merlin…’ Arthur began, his tone hushed and sympathetic. 

This did it for Merlin who broke down into uncontrolled sobs. Arthur was startled briefly, before he wrapped the other man into a warm embrace, awkwardly patting the top of his head in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. Merlin continued to sob into the other man’s shoulder until they were replaced with slow, heavy breathing. 

Merlin woke up next to the Lake Avalon, with Arthur no longer next to him. He lifted up his head, taking in the pale blue sky dotted with clouds. The sun was low in the sky on the east, it was probably only a couple hours after dawn.

He noticed he seemed to have rolled down the slope, as the slight tide of the water was lapping at his side. His eyes were still damp from the amount of crying he had done in the night and his body heat seemed barely enough to keep himself warm, which caused him to start shivering. 

Gingerly, he sat up, wincing at the crick that had formed in his neck. He felt suddenly so empty as he remembered the dream. It had been so vivid and real, though looking back, Merlin realised it was definitely too good to be true. Despite the fact the Dragon had claimed Arthur would return, Merlin knew deep in his heart that that day would be a long time coming… 

He got up, stretching his aching limbs, and pushing the wetness of his trouser leg and jacket away with a flick of his hand. He’d made the decision the night before, as he sat by the bank of the lake, that he would not return to Camelot. It would be too painful to be around Guinevere or Gaius, or any of the knights, knowing he had been unable to save their King. Besides, he had nothing left to do in Camelot, and the old familiar hallways and tapestries would only be a painful reminder of Arthur, every flash of red and gold, every clink of sword against armour on the jousting field… No, Merlin knew that his place was far from there, someplace where his memories could slowly dissolve into distant and pleasant, rather than the burning ache he felt at that moment.  
So, he set off, heading in the direction he knew would lead him far from the Kingdom he had known as Home for so long. The sun grew hotter and the air more humid as the day drew on, and there was little shade along the maze of hills he was travelling across. He eventually reached a small stream, which he eagerly drank and washed from, the cool water desperate relief on his burning skin. He knew he could use his magic to conjure water, and even shade if he wanted to. But performing magic made him think of Arthur, which hurt too much. 

Night arrived too slowly for Merlin’s liking, but when it did, he found an alcove in a small forest, which he set up as his bed. Despite his tired legs, Merlin found it difficult to fall asleep that night. Thoughts he had spent the day suppressing now brought to the surface of his mind, primarily thoughts about Arthur. 

He eventually drifted off, and soon found himself groggily waking up in the same field as before. This time, Arthur was sitting up beside him, his face titled up towards the sky. He looked pretty much the same as the previous night, and though it had only been a short time, the sight of his King still made his heart lurch. He pushed himself up, the noise causing Arthur to turn to look at him. 

They looked at each other for a moment, a small smile formed on Arthur’s face as he reached his hand over to ruffle Merlin’s hair. 

‘You look happier after that nap’ He commented gently, turning his head to look at the sky again. 

‘I am…’ Merlin said as a reply, his tone soft. ‘Even if this is a dream… I’m ok with that…’

He turned to glance at Arthur, who was now looking at him again, before he continued.

‘I’ve discovered sometimes dreaming is better than reality…’ 

He lay back down, letting the sun roll over his skin. It wasn’t the same as in the day, where the sun had made his skin peel. The sun here was little more than a warm glow, that washed over him like a cloth of silk. His eyes drifted shut, though he had no intention of falling back to sleep.

He felt Arthur sink down to lie next to him.

‘Maybe…’ Arthur began, his voice still low and quiet. ‘But in the end, you always have to face reality… You helped teach me that, you know?’ 

Merlin sighed deeply, though kept his eyes closed. He knew Arthur was right, though this Arthur had no idea that Merlin’s reality meant a world where Arthur was dead… 

‘I suppose’ He replied, opening his eyes and looking over at Arthur who was looking at him in turn. ‘Doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy my dreams while they last though, right?’ 

Every day passed much the same, the endless walking to no-where in particular and the loneliness of the open road. And he’d eagerly await each night, where he’d be reunited with Arthur in the utopia of their dream world. 

One of those nights, he told Arthur of where he went every time he fell ‘asleep’, of his reality where Arthur was dead...  
‘Everyday’ Merlin choked out. ‘I wake in reality and you’re completely gone… And I don’t now what to do… And it hurts, Arthur… It hurts so much…’

Arthur had listened intently, before turning to the watery eyed Merlin, his own eyes filled with unshed tears. He reached for Merlin’s hand, holding it between his own gently, before he held it up to his face and pressed the palm to his lips in the softest brush of a kiss.

‘I’ll always be here’ He whispered softly. ‘I’ll be here, with you, when you dream… Always’

Merlin closed his eyes at that, feeling Arthur place another small kiss on his hand as the tears fell down his cheeks. 

Perhaps, he thought to himself, perhaps in a few years, or a few thousand, his dreams will turn to reality as Arthur rises again… 

Until then, he can just simply dream…


End file.
